#ive been feeling so off lately
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Consoling cinnamon roll 🥐
Shop, Patreon, Commissions: linktr.ee/mezzy
#klance#voltron legendary defender#klance fanart#lance mcclain#voltron#keith kogane#laith#ive been feeling so off lately#might be just burn out like you are working and creating trying to put out so much but it's never enough?#my regular inner call to fall off the side of the universe is back#ill catch up tho#at least it motivated me to finish this sketch from 2022#have an awesome week tumblrs
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?
#ive been super curious about this because people seem to have really strong opinions on the queue! so many people seem to HATE it#but i love using the queue! i dont really know exactly why i like it so much- i started using in like... 2016 and its a fundamental part of#my tumblr experience now. i think i started off just using it for offline hours so id hit most my american mutuals (/ for aes posts)#but these days basically everything goes in my queue (cept time sensitive things & like. current hype and original posts-#anything 'normal' posting is in the queue)#idk it feels. nice to me! i like to spread out my posting and not rb 30 things in half an hour and then disappear for the rest of the day#esp since my spaces are so circular- the same post runs on my dash a dozen times minimum. and i get to put it on ur dash a week late!!!#and its so nice to have small interactions with mutuals in incompatible timezones; to open up my notifications in the morning#and go: oh! my friends were here <3#its such a Part of the tumblr experience for me i dont think i could ever truly change now. maybe switch to timed queueing#but my availability changes so much i prefer to just. know i guess#but (i am so sorry for all that) im curious about how other people feel!!!!!! itd be so interesting to hear abt why people do/do not like i#i know some people like the experience of spamming and going. some people think it makes this seem to much like influencing or whatever#everyone has their reasons and i want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nyxtalks#poll#queue#no see answers option because you must fall into one of these
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
458 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ve been so busy with other stuff but I really want to get back to drawing WHF art so I went and cleaned up a wip. Not sure how I feel with some of the angles but I just needed to get this out of my system
Based off of this clip
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine
#mcart#we happy few#whf#uncle jack#jack worthing#whf uncle jack#nick lightbearer#norbert pickles#whf nick lightbearer#is this lightfog?#yeah it is ngl so#lightfog#listen any ship art I make usually nine times out of ten it’s nothing romantic it’s usually shitposts like this#but the subtext is there#and this is toxic yaoi anyway ain’t no way they’d have a proper romantic relationship#their dynamic compels me though#it would work more in his foggy jack form but also I think it would be funny if this is how jack acts to him in his uncle jack form#just slightly unhinged#anyway uhhh if you’re still reading the tags uhh mayhaps you’d like to send me a request for a whf art idea?#gonna be honest I only have so many ideas I want to do but I feel like I need to be motivated so#it would be so awesome. it would be so cool#read my pinned post though and take into consideration for that cause there’s just some things I won’t do so I may end up rejecting an idea#would like to draw something with uncle jack cause like lately ive been trying to draw him but been having the hardest time idk why#he just looks off in my artstyle rn so maybe if i get a request id be able to lock in#anyway uhhh thats it
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
lately i’ve been feeling like this a lot,
i don’t want to make the art people followed me for. i want to turn hockey players into furries.
#incoherent turtle noises#its so nice ive been so creatively fulfilled lately. feeling like im the most powerful girl in the world <3#this is like. very typical though. you can track these cycles throughout my whole life. the high will wear off same as everything else#but ill ride it through and have fun :3 if you’ve followed me for long enough you should know the drill by now lol ✌️#anyway. lunch break over </3 but hockey tonight ‼️
85 notes
·
View notes
Text
#mavaniart#gravity falls#aromantic#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#this is meant to be entirely platonic btw. in case you were wondering#ive been feeling very strongly lately about aromanticism and luckily i had a guy to draw so. yea#uh. anyway. ignore the one million style changes n shit this took at least one full month#of me workong on it on and off. until i just ran out of juice lol. so yea#im glad people have their fun with shipping. in my mind this guy is so aromantic hes pulling pussy he doesnt even want
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sketchpage for THE SINGLE OLDEST OC that I have! This is "Names," nicknamed that because he is 1. immortal 2. able to travel through dimensions, and! 3. a shapeshifter! He has too many goddamn names & identities, and so.
He's a disowned bastard of royalty in his [denounced by himself] homeworld, in his second more loved homeworld he is an absolute scamp of a bastard shapeshifter. he's trying his best whilst also being very vain and annoying. he's reliable friend!! but he will also make fun of you and tease you the entire time! (unfortunately one of his top three love languages is Annoying The Fuck Out Of You) he has so much interdimensional yaoi going on dont EVEN worry about it UGBFSYUDGFUIJH
(and Yes! him being able to travel through dimensions IS a cheat code on my end so i can have One Single OC for oc x canon + the shapeshifter thing is 1. gender 2. excuse to not draw things sometimes 3. excuse to label any random oc for oc x canon things as Names <3 work smarter not harder or whatever now watch me not even do any of that with him lol lmao )
#oc art#artists on tumblr#illustration#sketches#my art#art#digital art#csp#clip studio paint#| sketches.#| ocs.#| Names#this was also a style study of my favorite traits i see in a lot of korean artists' styles!#Names is also a gender euphoria oc. is this look attainable for me irl? not exactly this is very idealized#but in a more realistic translation yes!#ive been having a lot of gender ephinanies and thrown off a lot of trauma-shackles lately so im feeling GREAT#its making me love drawing names all the more
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i just need to vent abt this ok pls don’t yell at me or tell me im being ungrateful#but tfw u have almost 500 asks sitting in ur inbox and u literally don’t know what to do with them😀#the guilt that eats away at me because im not getting to what people say to me gets so bad sometimes#like you guys all have such great things to say and i want to be able to respond but there’s just such a large volume i get overwhelmed#and ive been so busy lately they’ve piled up bad#and ive even been missing ones from mutuals which i feel so bad about#im so sorry guys i really am like pls don’t abandon me im sorry ANDJJJSJ#and i just like. esp my regular anons i feel bad because i don’t mean to ignore you but stuff just gets lost#and the worst part is that if im spending hours on asks then im not writing fic#and im so behind on fic too#so. im not excelling in anything currently msdnskdjskdjskdjskdksks#el oh el#sorry i just needed that off my chest#i love u guys i appreciate you all seriously#delete later#🙏🙏🙏
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
me to my coworkers: when you request time off, you should not give the assistant dept head any additional info on why you're requesting it, it's none of her business and may be used against you
me requesting time off after my requests keep getting denied/overlooked the past few months: telling kelly explicitly that this one is an oncology appointment bc i want her to feel bad :)
#messages from the ouija board#sadies day job#to be clear it IS an oncology appointment im not lying i just want her to feel bad for me also#like yeah this is why ive been making so many requests lately :) i know u think im difficult & ur a dick about chronic illness to me & tim#but a mention of cancer WILL scare u into feeling bad about it :)#also i dont think i have cancer but i had to do a genetics screening for top surgery stuff bc of a family history of breast cancer#and the results came back and the geneticist was like 'hey so if ur already transitioning its a good idea to talk to a specialist about#a hysterectomy bc ur cancer risk down there is pretty big.' so now off to oncology we go!
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jitterbug
#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it#and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago#bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall#im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot#i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T#because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks#at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better#its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh#in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats#mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year#i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping#my art#myart#doodles#personal#diary
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk which of you needs to hear this rn but today is a fantastic day to do absolutely nothing at all like today is great for napping and procrastinating and catching up on your interests and laying around and ordering in and slacking off etc etc
#here’s ur permission now go sleep or whatever else#ive had five busy days in a row and felt awful so i’ve spent all day today in bed doing NOTHING#and it’s SO nice like i want to cry about it#BUT even if you HAVENT been busy you still get to slack if you see this btw#stop living guiltily and feeling like you have to constantly be busy or productive#idc anymore take my hand and be lazy and relaxed and calm with me#im kissing ur forehead and telling you it’s okay#and if it’s really late in the day for you right now this extends to tomorrow or whenever you need it#😤😤#this post is an Official™️ slacking off free pass yours to cash in whenever#😴😴😴
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay fuck it actually heres a drawing from the other day
#probably all ill post maybe idk im not sure tbh…….#scribbles#klonoa#popka#uhh nothing much to say abt this tbh thats why im posting it XD so uh heres some rambling ig#i feel like ive been drawing a lot more oc stuff lately which is cool ig cuz i barely ever draw original stuff#but at the same time it Sucks cuz like. idk theyre some newer ocs i kinda feel weird abt sharing for some reason#like idk i feel like theyre lame 😔 plus im still figuring out a lot of stuff for them so idk maybe thats part of it#uhhh also uh i feel like ive been getting like? actually really fucking good st art ? and like i feel like this every#few months (which is a good thing it means im improving / enjoying how my art looks) but like.. idk it judt feels more legit this time like#idk idk it doesnt really make sense but im having fun with art and thats good#i drew like. seven full drawings yeaterday for artfight im still like . stunned by how i managed to pull that off without having#drawings i ended up hating . like even with some that were an absolute pain in the ass to draw they turned out so cooollllll#okay ill stop rambling now idk what im trying to say
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hm. Oh no
#my periodical depressive slumps! wuh oh!#idk feeling very down lately. the. gestures. everything. does not help#im like. so stressed rn the past few days have not been great#i miss having close friends i think#crane screams#ive been feeling bad physically too and idk if its bc ive been off my meds for almost a month or judt bc my eating habits have been awful#genuinely idk what constitutes as a healthy meal anymore. realizing açai bowls are probably not super healthy despite having fruit#head in hands. whatever. i can blame my slump on my lack of medication(its not even a mental health med)#see this is why bluesky scares me. how am i supposed to ramble on in a place no one will see over there#thank you tmblr tags ily tmblr tags#ok whatever#good night
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
me thinking about the moment in the movie where leo is fighting krangified raph and he is feeling so much pressure and so much stress and guilt and he is so so scared for his family and for raph especially because he just wants to get raph out safely, he just wants his brother with him and their family unharmed and in one piece, but he can’t get through why won’t raph HEAR him why isn’t raph LISTENING he just wants to SAVE HIM why is he making things SO HARD--
and that is the moment where it finally fully clicks for leo, after all this, where raph was coming from at the start of the movie. that it wasn’t about being stubborn or wanting to call all the shots and be the boss, it wasn’t pettiness or raph being hard on them for no reason. it was always just raph wanting them to be safe, and getting scared and frustrated when doing that was difficult. or when, perhaps, certain stinker lil brothers seemed to be going out of their way to make it difficult.
like he really has that hard stop moment of realization while he’s looking directly at raph... at his own reflection u could say... love that
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rise leo#rise of the tmnt#ive seen the interpretation that leo yelling about raph making things so hard is also him sharing his own POV about their dynamic lately?#and i dig that too!#another notch in the ways that honestly they are very similar in motivation tbh#the OH moment!#OH this is why it's been so tense OH this is why raph has been so hardline and irritated when i fly off solo#like after raph was captured leo spent a lot of time kinda bullheadedly larping what he thought raph would do?#bc leo was angry (bc leo was feeling guilty and absolutely terrified)#all the way up to the roof scene where he finally learned his listen to the team lesson (a lesson raph also had to learn in the series)#like it was such a genuine misunderstanding and miscommunication leo is over here doing his best raph but what he THOUGHT raph was doing#and like raph is a great leader while raph is leader! does very well learns and grows ive gone on about that before but#like for all their similarities they are still different people with different strengths so the double whammy of trying to do a raph AND#sincerely not GETTING where raph had been coming from#was a recipe for disaster#and like leo's leadership strengths come through more after the roof scene but this scene is about his relationship to raph#this little moment where he stops himself and has this what am i DOING moment has this no wait i finally GET IT moment#like that's just all i can see when i see that scene; the final breakthrough for leo that makes him able to reach for raph properly#bc he WAS just fighting him before that; and maybe in raphs zombie mind hell that carried over idk
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
unfortunately i think my divine punishment is to never feel happy confident pretty and normal
#i always feel off in the late october but omfggg i havent been able to sleep because i am just anxious 24/7 my chest is tight my heart is#in my throat and it hurts so bad. i just want to get money move my mom out of serbia and kill myself i cant wait i tear up from excitement#thinking about not being alive its the only thing keeping me alive if that makes sense#anyway. off to update my cv and portfolio ive been putting it off but its time also i want a boring office job so bad you have no idea but#whatever goddddddddd goodbye sorry for being negative im not even being dramatic like this is my diary i am suicidal and disgusting and#ashmp3 is the perfect place to share these thoughts#tt
7 notes
·
View notes